Socially awkward dinner theater...

I've been a bit tired lately (result of no sun?) so certain people can just get off my back (not naming names).

Sunday my landlady came over. Ms. Sun is a nice lady, but she kind of looks like the landlady from Kungfu Hustle sans hair rollers and standard nightgown. From what my roommate has told me she's pretty tight with the money, but always helpful. So we have a scary stove in the kitchen and were recently told that there was a gas leak (not uncommon in China). Ms. Sun waited for the repair man and then came into my room to say goodbye. I was in the middle of rearranging my room so I won't continue to be startled in the middle of the night by my reflection in the vanity mirror. She helped me move a few things then invited me to supper. She had told me that she would eventually do this, so I grudging obliged full well knowing that this could be a bit taxing. She doesn't speak much English and my Chinese is barely passable. We go to a place just down the street that is supposed to have good food, so off we go. As we are escorted to the table she informs me that we will be joined by 4 other people. This doesn't startle me as much as it should, as I know Shanghainese are big on status and having a foreigner at your table at a restaurant is highly regarded. Even when that foreigner is me. We order some dim sum (Cantonese appetizers) and have an awkward conversation. She asks me the usual stuff including if I have a boyfriend. Lately I've taken to inventing stories rather than telling the truth as my language skills are lacking in the finer points of explanation. Even though I tell her I have a (pretend) boyfriend in the states, she still encourages me to have a Chinese boyfriend too (soooo not going to happen). When the other guests arrive (2 middle aged men, 1 woman, 1 girl a bit younger than I) arrive I am a bit relieved to have a translator. She gives me some background on the situation (one of the men is her father, the other two aunt and uncle) and tells me that the aunt and uncle are trying to fix her up with my landlady's son, who is studying in Australia. Wow, still playing matchmaker/arranged marriage in this day an age.

The aunt, uncle, and father are impressed at my Chinese (did I mention it's barely passable?) and ask me another round of questions including how much it costs to get married in the US. How should I know that? Americans don't ask personal money questions as a general rule. They ordered and I ate pig's ear, what I believe to be liver, and a soup of unknown origins. The pig's ear was about what you'd expect; something suitable for a dog, but not this girl. I had to eat it as they kept piling food on my plate despite my protests. There were some good things, so I made out ok.

The evening ended with a round of "Pictures with the LaoWai (foreigner)." I know people are always worried about getting their picture put on the internet. This concerns me but in another fashion. I surmise that there are many pictures of me on the internet looking scrubby (I had intended to stay at home and do some reading) and slightly awkward with a forced smile. They will never have my name, but I'll know. This was no exception. Everyone has a picture of me (and a few with the daughter) on their camera phone and digital camera. Isn't technology great? Now I likely have to do the whole thing again and take my landlady out for supper to "save face" though I still have to consult my roommate on this to see if I can get out of it.

The adage is true: There is no such thing as a free lunch, especially in China.

What will be done with Maria...

April 2-5 I was in Lijiang city in Yunnan province. It's near the city of Kunming and very close to Tibet and Myanmar (Burma!! Why did you say Burma? I don't know, I panicked.) Why would one travel to the other side of the country, you ask. Because I had to for work. Rough I know. Each year we take a retreat for work and I am fortunate enough to be brought along.




Lijang has been named as one of the UNESCO historical sites, so there has been much care to restore the old town portion of the city. But it is not quite enough to stay in the old town, one must also venture out to see the beautiful scenery. Lijang is located in the foothills of the Himalayas and not too far from Shangri-la, a common jumping off point to travelers going to Tibet.

My trip to Lijiang was great because it wasn't somewhere that I would have traveled by myself. Now that I have seen Yunnan, there is so much more to be seen there. If you've heard of the Three Gorges Dam, the huge project that dams up the Yangtze River, this will make you just as sad. The Leaping Tiger Gorge, one of the most famous landmarks in China, is going to be dammed up as well. The plans are to blow up the rock formation that looks like the leaping tiger and then make a huge dam. This is such a tragedy I don't even have words. I was out voted on the choice of seeing this or the Snow Mountains, so looks like I'll have to plan another trip to see the Tiger Leaping Gorge before it gets destroyed.

Nothing like breaking out into show tunes or the Monty Python theme with your colleagues. Through out the weekend I was here, on of my bosses and I traded Python quotes. While in the Snow Mountains, we could not help but singing bits from the Sound of Music. This was unfortunately lost on our Chinese colleagues, but the hills were alive, what could we do?

World of made up words and lung biscuits...

I think back to when I lived in Fargo. Funky downtown apartment, no TV, within walking distance of loads of good stuff. That's not too far from where I am now. I like that.

Well, even though I am a native speaker of English, I learn new English words all the time. I joined the techo-revolution and bought a digital camera. Very happy with it. The fun part was dickering over the price; think going into Best Buy and taking 20 minutes to lower the price $10 or more. Fun right? Well, you get some borderline ridiculous statements when you do that in China (it's expected).

Danny the Salesman: "I am giving you the USB cables (um, doesn't that come in the box), the battery and battery charger (same), a bag, and the camera job." I had to stop the guy there.
Me: "Camera job? What the hell is that? I'm a native speaker of English and I've never heard that word before."
Danny: "It's the thing that you put the camera on. You put the camera on so you can take pictures of you. (stands in front of camera and does the peace sign. Why do all Chinese take pictures like that?) Let me show you." Goes to the counter and pulls out a tripod.
Me: "That's a tripod. Kind of like iPod but with tri in front. Tri means three and it has three legs."

That was interesting. I still need to figure out when I will be using my "camera job" to take self-portraits. Sounds kind of lame, but the thing was free like the USB cables that I was so lucky the guy was generous enough to throw in.

The little things...
When I think of Shanghai now, I don't think of the big tourist spots (I just went to Nanjing and the Bund for the first time yesterday) anymore. I think of the little things, both good and bad.

The guy in the subway that has the job of keeping everyone in lines so that the people getting off the metro can get off before the people getting on can get on. You have no idea how many times I've either felt like a salmon or a fullback as I was trying to get off the metro. How brilliant do you have to be to just wait? Are you really surprised when I accidentally smack you in the face when I am pinned in, really don't want to stand next to the guy with halitosis, and it's my stop?

I love to just walk around. For some reason, this has become one of my favorite things. On the weekends, even though I may be dog-tired, the first thought is when I'm going to go walk. Usually with minimal purpose, I find it infinitely interesting to walk around in Shanghai and China in general. There are stores that sell fake purses next to an fix on the spot scooter shop next to a fruit stand next to a shop where you can buy live fish. I've seen large slabs of meat next to laundry (that was pretty funny and gross). These walks definitely fulfill my need for randomness, maybe even exceed it.

And the ever popular question: why do people feel the need to spit in the street? Not just spitting, bringing up mucus from what sounds like the toe area and then spitting it right in front of my feet? Also, didn't your mom ever teach you to cover your mouth when you cough? For 20 minutes...in my face? Crazy. I recently read an article in an expat magazine about the World Expo (some may know it as the World's Fair) in 2010. Someone with some foresight to say that Shanghai needs some manners. The article listed several of Westerners top complaints (refer to what you have just read) and then person on the street interviews. The comments boiled down to "Yes there are some people who need manners training. I think I could benefit from it but I am too busy so I can't go." Yep, they just don't care and will keep plugging along and expats will continue to roll their eyes and repeat the mantra "That's China!"

The next week should be interesting. I've had some things fall into my lap and through work I will be going to Lijiang in Yunnan province. If you've ever heard of the Leaping Tiger Gorge, I'll be about 2 hours away and am hoping to see it. I also need to fill in some stories so I might be back logging the blog, watch for new stuff.