Annie are you OK?

There's nothing like sitting down with a ridiculously big Japanese beer and writing. Here we go!

So I did not end up going to Tokyo on Friday night. It rained and I didn't have an umbrella or my Wellingtons. Not fun.

Here are two of my new favorite stories and reasons why I love California. I'm not the greatest story teller and I'm not going into great explanations of why these are so funny, so if you miss it let me know.

#1) This lady I had lunch with fist starts talking about how she used to be the dental hygienist for the Jackson family. Yes THE Jackson family, most of whom were head cases from an early age is what I gathered. Then she goes on to talk about how she happened to be in the same CPR class as Michael Jackson. Did I mention that I love California ;)? The dummy that people use for practice in CPR classes is called Resusci-Annie. As part of the CPR routine, you must speak to the victim to check their consciousness and make sure they are in need of help. So picture a young Michael Jackson asking, “Annie are you ok? Annie are you OK?”

Seriously I don’t make this up. I could have snorted a shrimp at one of the fanciest restaurants in Shanghai.

#2) Same fascinating lady. She is part of a winery (who has an amazing Chardonnay by the way) and happened to be out with her boss at a restaurant and they saw former President Gerald Ford and his wife Betty. Her boss instantly comes up with a brilliant idea, “Let's send a bottle of our wine to Gerald and Betty Ford." Now, think of things that are wrong with that statement. My lunch friend did and advised her boss, “No. We can’t send them a bottle of wine,” and added to us, her audience, that sometimes her boss may be a bit more determined to follow through with ideas. She calmly explained to him the reasons they could not send Gerald and Betty Ford a bottle of wine. He eventually relented, but it took much explaining.

That was the highlight of my day. I was actually speechless for a few minutes because I needed to recover from laughing.

Storytelling was the theme of the day. But before I get into the next one, let me digress for a minute. I truly understand the concept of being alone in a city of 20 million people. Don't feel bad for me; I'm not as homesick as I have been in the past. I just have more time to myself and focus on what I need to do for my own mental health. For someone who has been surrounded by family and friends for as long as I can remember, this is a pretty big change. I still keep up on what goes on at home (p.s. don't you dare tell me that nothing happens at home) but I do feel disconnected from my network. Segments of my life are not so closely integrated as in the States. Work is separate from spending time with my friends on the weekends which is separate from my week activities. Disconnected; but not terrible. Though if you still feel sorry for me, you can send a care package or a letter. Soot me an email and I'll give you my address.

Whew, done with that. I got in a cab on Friday night going from the restaurant to a live music bar (Turned out to be a pretty place cool except for the guy who tried to pick my nose. Um, who does that?). As I got in the cab and gave the driver my destination, he quickly turned the trip into an English lesson. But he was more interested in expressing his opinion than hearing me talk. He asked me if I worked in Shanghai to which I replied yes, then his next question was "Do you like Japan?" Before I could answer he said "Japan is sh*t." This took me a little aback, but I was ready to roll with it. He continued to state that President Hu Jintao was in the U.S., how the Japanese destroyed Nanjing and how he thought it was hilarious that the U.S. dropped nuclear bombs on Japan. This made me sad that I was by myself because everyone I've told this story to in Shanghai wishes they would have been in that cab. He repeated his points a few times, peppered the conversation with the F word, and narrated the route ie “turn right on Hengshan Lu” and found my destination with no problems. As I am paying my fare and waiting for the receipt to print he asks me if I am familiar with Tongren Lu. When I said yes, he asked me if I knew a certain Russian lady, but he didn’t say lady. I said no but I did like Russia as a country. He gave me a few more choice pieces of advice about this Russian lady, Japan, and I was on my way. For comedic value, that ride was a bargain.